...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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