2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
