so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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