oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I need to calm my uterus...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
