well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
