WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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