It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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