I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
