hotel room ftw
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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