I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize