she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Let's paint friendship bongs
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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