1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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