I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
