Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
