what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
