singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
