My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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