I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
