C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
