i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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