Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
