During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
