hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
