watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
