Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
it was like eating out sand paper
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
