trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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