4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
