dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
even my farts smell like vagina
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
