Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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