big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
