she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
