before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
