Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
soo... how was my night?
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