I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
