Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
