Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Let's paint friendship bongs
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
