Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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