im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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