I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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