I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
