OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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