what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Randomize
