loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize
