Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
