Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
