I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
