girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
