SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
