I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
