I hate your face
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Actions speak louder than pants.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
