that's an acceptable place to lick
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
